I don't usually laugh at the jokes on r/jokes. Today I did, and I thank you.

If you really want to argue about this, you can take it up with the linguistics: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Language_death

An extinct language is one that has no speakers, either native or second. A dead language is one that has no native speakers. These are terms that are widely used in the linguistics world and are well-defined, and mean different things.

"No native speakers" effectively means "nobody's primary language". Nobody is learning that language and using it in their day-to-day life as their primary mode of communication.

"No native speakers" is a rough approximation of that, but still pretty much accurate - someone's primary day-to-day language would be what their kids learn.

That said, if there were a group who didn't have kids but primarily used a language they learned as a second language (think priests who primarily use Latin to talk to one another but aren't allowed to have kids), that language could be "dead" by the technical definition of "no native speakers" but still able to change and adapt like a living language. An "undead" language, if you will.

By scoring it similarly to figure skating? On difficulty and coolness of maneuvers, etc.

That just means the pro wrestlers who wrestle at the Olympics would have to be clean. That's not a bad thing.