Just want to make a note real quick: I feel this is a kinda cliche scenario (I say after writting it out) and wanted to keep the story somewhat vague so that it fits a larger profile of people and hopefully is enjoyed by them. Anyways, to the story now, there's more rambling at the bottom if ya care to see.
A skeletal hand holds out a deeply stained bowl filled with a dark iridescent liquid, waiting for the person to accept.
"I don't get it. I just... how, WHY can't I forget? I feel like I've drank a thousand of these things and I haven't forgotten!"
"Close, Eight hundred eighty-"
"-I don't care about the actual number! I just... It's only been you and me, for what, weeks, months, years?! Don't answer that. I just, I can't understand why I'm so... unable to forget."
"Your soul cannot rein-"
"-incarnate before it's ready, yeah yeah, I remember. But what does that mean? WHY?"
"Your soul needs accept what was, and what might be, in order to move on to the next life. Yours is not ready to move on."
"Accept what, exactly? That my life has been a living hell? That no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I gave, no matter how good of a person I tried to be, it was never enough?! Hell, no matter how my mind begged for a break, how my body just needed to rest, how my soul screamed for a moment of reprieve, I kept going! I would falter, I was imperfect, I made mistakes, and I get all of that. I fully understand that I'm just a person and can't realistically expect myself to be perfect or to have done everything right. I GET that. I just wanted to be someone who, no matter what, never stopped trying, who never gave up. I wanted to be someone that gave others hope, that would bear the weight of the world if it meant someone got to take a much deserved rest, to be the-"
"That is not what holds you back."
"-one who... What? I- what do you mean?"
"..."
"No... No no, don't get me started. My child and spouse have NOTHING to-"
"-Have everything to do with this."
"NO! They are EXACTLY why I need to go back, they're WHY I need to- to..."
"You cannot change what was."
The deep ambiance began to lighten and the liquid seemed to shift and shimmer for a moment before the hand pulled back.
"... Please, I just want to do right by them, they were robbed of their life far too soon, I want to live for them now! I want to begin anew so that I might get it right this time."
"You can still live for them, your time has not yet ended."
"HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO... wait, my time hasn't ended? I thought I was dead? No, I HAVE to be dead, right? There's no way my body could survive-"
"-You are worth more than you realize. Your friends arrived in time to help save you."
Faint voices are heard in the background, along with some shuffling around.
"They... But why? I- I wasn't that great of a friend. We just hung out sometimes, occasionally helped each other out-"
"-Found joy in the dullest of times, found comfort with each other when the world was painful, formed unbreakable bonds through trial and error. Whether you believe it or not, they want you back, and are worried. They've visited nearly every day to check on you."
"But... My kid, my-"
The ambiance becomes nearly white and grows in noise.
"-They will be waiting for you in the next life, but for now, you must live this one. It's time to wake up, they're waiting for you."
"... Thank you..."
The persons eyes slowly open to a blurry world, followed by the exclaimation of others around them.
"How long can we keep this up? It's been what, a couple years now? I'm not sure-"
Right, so, that was my first time writting, well, pretty much anything to be honest. I've always liked the idea of creating stories, but never really brought myself to do it. I'm not sure what compelled me to write it, but I did, so uh, I hope you enjoyed? That being said I'm totally open to tips, constructive critisism, or whatever else that may help future writting. On that note, I can't say I'm well-versed with grammar or punctuation, but I tried using it in a way that -- to the best of my knowledge -- hopefully got the pauses, interruptions, etc. through in a clear way. Hopefully the way I 'transcribed' the conversation to a story wasn't too confusing for y'all, I just wanted to try and make it feel more natural/flowing. Anyways, enough rambling and worrying, I appriciate any feedback y'all might have!
Mikhael451 t1_j6mhmvh wrote
Reply to [WP] A soul can reincarnate after they drink a bowl of magical soup to forget their past life. You've drank hundreds of bowls, but the memory is still as clear as day in your head. by Penna_23
Just want to make a note real quick: I feel this is a kinda cliche scenario (I say after writting it out) and wanted to keep the story somewhat vague so that it fits a larger profile of people and hopefully is enjoyed by them. Anyways, to the story now, there's more rambling at the bottom if ya care to see.
A skeletal hand holds out a deeply stained bowl filled with a dark iridescent liquid, waiting for the person to accept.
"I don't get it. I just... how, WHY can't I forget? I feel like I've drank a thousand of these things and I haven't forgotten!"
"Close, Eight hundred eighty-"
"-I don't care about the actual number! I just... It's only been you and me, for what, weeks, months, years?! Don't answer that. I just, I can't understand why I'm so... unable to forget."
"Your soul cannot rein-"
"-incarnate before it's ready, yeah yeah, I remember. But what does that mean? WHY?"
"Your soul needs accept what was, and what might be, in order to move on to the next life. Yours is not ready to move on."
"Accept what, exactly? That my life has been a living hell? That no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I gave, no matter how good of a person I tried to be, it was never enough?! Hell, no matter how my mind begged for a break, how my body just needed to rest, how my soul screamed for a moment of reprieve, I kept going! I would falter, I was imperfect, I made mistakes, and I get all of that. I fully understand that I'm just a person and can't realistically expect myself to be perfect or to have done everything right. I GET that. I just wanted to be someone who, no matter what, never stopped trying, who never gave up. I wanted to be someone that gave others hope, that would bear the weight of the world if it meant someone got to take a much deserved rest, to be the-"
"That is not what holds you back."
"-one who... What? I- what do you mean?"
"..."
"No... No no, don't get me started. My child and spouse have NOTHING to-"
"-Have everything to do with this."
"NO! They are EXACTLY why I need to go back, they're WHY I need to- to..."
"You cannot change what was."
The deep ambiance began to lighten and the liquid seemed to shift and shimmer for a moment before the hand pulled back.
"... Please, I just want to do right by them, they were robbed of their life far too soon, I want to live for them now! I want to begin anew so that I might get it right this time."
"You can still live for them, your time has not yet ended."
"HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO... wait, my time hasn't ended? I thought I was dead? No, I HAVE to be dead, right? There's no way my body could survive-"
"-You are worth more than you realize. Your friends arrived in time to help save you."
Faint voices are heard in the background, along with some shuffling around.
"They... But why? I- I wasn't that great of a friend. We just hung out sometimes, occasionally helped each other out-"
"-Found joy in the dullest of times, found comfort with each other when the world was painful, formed unbreakable bonds through trial and error. Whether you believe it or not, they want you back, and are worried. They've visited nearly every day to check on you."
"But... My kid, my-"
The ambiance becomes nearly white and grows in noise.
"-They will be waiting for you in the next life, but for now, you must live this one. It's time to wake up, they're waiting for you."
"... Thank you..."
The persons eyes slowly open to a blurry world, followed by the exclaimation of others around them.
"How long can we keep this up? It's been what, a couple years now? I'm not sure-"
"-wait guys, shut up, look, LOOK THEY'RE WAKING UP!"
Right, so, that was my first time writting, well, pretty much anything to be honest. I've always liked the idea of creating stories, but never really brought myself to do it. I'm not sure what compelled me to write it, but I did, so uh, I hope you enjoyed? That being said I'm totally open to tips, constructive critisism, or whatever else that may help future writting. On that note, I can't say I'm well-versed with grammar or punctuation, but I tried using it in a way that -- to the best of my knowledge -- hopefully got the pauses, interruptions, etc. through in a clear way. Hopefully the way I 'transcribed' the conversation to a story wasn't too confusing for y'all, I just wanted to try and make it feel more natural/flowing. Anyways, enough rambling and worrying, I appriciate any feedback y'all might have!