Excerpt:

>Before I close the loop on this point, it’s important to note it is completely understandable so many Americans doubt the future has anything good waiting for us. Some generations are living through what must feel like an extended “Twilight Zone” episode. The prosperity and security of the 1980s and 1990s seemingly evaporated in the dust of the World Trade Center towers. Since then, we discovered our global economy was essentially fake, since it was easily susceptible to an elaborate Ponzi scheme that tanked the livelihood of millions of Americans in 2008. We never really resolved the pain that came from that global financial crisis and things haven’t been getting better. Pensions lost, ever-rising property taxes, health care inaccessibility, a developing stratified society, political corruption, racial tensions, social propaganda, and all of that made worse by a global pandemic — which we can’t even agree how bad it was or continues to be. The trajectory of the past few decades is simply insane.
>
>So, I get it. Much of the world has suffered a credibility collapse and many have chosen to cling to what they know — their local community as it was before all this happened. It’s not surprising this group is deeply resistant to any chic political movement claiming to fix anything — even if it offers free ponies. Especially when these ideas are championed by political leaders who somehow have completely skipped all the misery the rest of us have experienced. It’s traumatizing.
>
>But my empathy for these people ends when they decide their pain and frustration is their new source of meaning and purpose. In the handful of conversations I’ve had with defenders of CAVE people, I’ve challenged them to put forth an alternate vision for Stamford. If they don’t like my ideas, give me another option. They simply cannot do it. Much like a depressed person explaining why they’ll never be happy, these people effortlessly tie every issue — from government spending to bike lanes — to a nihilistic belief the world is irredeemably corrupted, and nothing can or will get better. This is a viewpoint that has been adopted by the younger generations — who now have the highest records of drug overdoses, suicides, mass shootings, and other disturbing acts of self-annihilation. If you suggest to these people their defeatism is part of the problem, they reliably transition to a nativist argument: “Who are you to question anything? You’re not even from here. Why don’t you go back to ‘where you’re from?’” This is the “no belief but in themselves” manifested in local politics. The only valid view is their own.
>
>These people are acting out a religion of nihilism. They gain meaning by believing the world is corrupt. Their purpose is to oppose everything because nothing has any value. They commit to the ritual of attending every town hall and airing out their grievances over and over and over again (this is why they always shout down solutions, because they’re not there to make things better). Through all this they develop a community of fellow travelers charging our community off a cliff. I imagine they do all this because it’s better than feeling completely powerless to the changing world, but you can’t do these things every day and not expect to end up as a miserable person. Indeed, nihilism is the song of a bird that has come to love its cage (that’s a rephrasing of a David Foster Wallace quote on irony, which is a similar concept).
>
>I wrote my original article because this problem is present in every conversation about the future of our community. Some significant portion of our residents don’t believe we have a future. That’s why they can’t propose one. They can only talk about their pain from the past. This is what depressed people do.
>
>So, that’s my challenge to anyone who sees themselves in my description of CAVE people. I challenge you to talk about the things you want, rather than what you don’t want. I challenge you to assemble coalitions for progress rather than reactionary mobs whenever you’re bored. I challenge you to think of the future, rather than the past. This is not a difference in politics. Nihilism exists in every generation, demographic, and political camp. This is a difference of morality. Either you see the value of building a future, or you don’t.
>
>If you do, great. We can figure out the details.
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>If you don’t, no one is under an obligation to placate your extended depressive episode. If you’re so happy about being a CAVE person, then stay in a cave.
>
>The choice is yours.

And you're not at all concerned about the dozens of stories of disabled people who need tremendous care being pressured to accept MAID to make other people's lives easier?

Just to be clear the original response to my concern was "no medical professional would approve such a death" and we have effortlessly transitioned to "yes a medical professional would approve of such a death and it's none of your business."

I'd like to believe no medical practitioner would approve a guy for assisted suicide because of "hearing loss" but that's the world we're in.

People should be aware this is rapidly becoming a culture war issue. This is largely because 1) an associated press bombshell article about Canada's medical assistance in dying program (MAID) and 2) American conservatives reorienting their arguments about pro-life to focus on this issue.

The gist of the pro argument is it is only humane to allow people to choose when to die. We know the vast majority of a person's lifetime medical expenses will occur within 90 days of their death. We know medical debt is the main reason people declare bankruptcy. We know there's nothing stopping people from killing themselves in less humane ways (as referenced in this article). The pro argument is an appeal to common decency and practicality.

The gist of the anti argument is these policies innately corrupt medical institutions that are supposed to be stalwart advocates for your right to life. After the initial report in August 2022, there have been a string of anecdotal stories from elderly or disabled people in Canada who had some totally survivable illness and were prescribed MAID. This has extended to individuals who believe they were disliked by medical staff and it would be more convenient to simply "assist" their death. The anti argument is a moral argument that you can't trust institutions with this kind of irreversible power.

Personally, I was pretty convinced of the pro argument up until these reports. The thing that's been really disturbing is seeing the Tik Tok trend of kids with depression talking about how they can't wait to turn 18 so they can apply for MAID. I really don't know what to do with that.

Sharing this because I thought people might relate to the shift in views I personally experienced over the past few months.

I would also like to know of these sorts of things. When I was a kid I feel like there was unlimited services for learning the piano, singing lessons, cooking, recreational sports, and etc. Maybe they exist for adults but idk where.

Are they officially out of that spot?

I really can't imagine anything in that spot. All those big retail stores are doing terrible and anything doing somewhat ok (like Whole Foods or Target) already has an identical store in that exact plaza. I guess an H Mart makes as much sense as anything else.

Actually I moaned about you and people like you.

Yeah. So let it be pedestrian only and stop moaning about it.

As stated in the post. You can still order from Judy's even though their physical location is closed.

You seem eager to pick a fight after misunderstanding the intent of my post. This is what petty people do. Whenever you want to acknowledge the fruitlessness of your approach and just move on let me know.

I'd say if you're looking for hidden gems in Stamford you probably already know about Mecha but don't know about Kyushu and it has value.

I didn't say anything bad about Mecha. I also said "arguably." I will accept your apology.

Everyone goes to Mecha but there's another Raemen place 6 doors down called Kyushu which is arguably better.

Judy's BBQ is really good and it is the definition of "hidden" because they closed the physical location. You can still order pick-up but you have to go to the other restaurant Tabouli in Bulls Head.

I second Ocha as the best sushi in town.

Let it be known your viewpoint is completely disconnected from reality.

For starters, that bridge is irrelevant to Soul Tasty's access to customers. They're literally off of two major roads — Tresser and Washington. The only people that bridge would convenience are people who live on Stillwater Avenue. Anyone further than that can simply drive to Tresser. It's worth noting everyone on Stillwater... is walking distance from the bridge. That bridge has nothing to do with Soul Tasty's ability to get business.

Second you're actively disseminating misinformation about a project that can't make any progress because of the exact misinformation you're putting out there. There are two cohorts who prevent anything from happening to that bridge. 1) People who want it restored because it has historic value and 2) people who want to drive on it. Restoring the bridge is possible but it is financially irresponsible to repair it to a point of allowing cars. The cost is way too high for a bridge no one would even use. There are traffic studies that prove this. Any traffic going over that bridge can just as easily use Tresser.

So you can make it a historic bridge you can walk on, or you can knock it down and let people drive on it. Those are your options. No one likes those options, which is why the city has taken so long to do anything we lost almost a million dollars from a grant expiring. I've never even heard of that happening. We got a grant a decade ago and didn't do anything with it. Enough.

The challenge with Stamford's nightlife is you basically have the same bar 5 times. If you like that thing then you can bounce around 5 places and have a decent enough time between Bradford's, Bedford Hall, Towne Parlor, Hudson Social, and Tigin's but they're all a similar vibe with arbitrary crowd distinctions. Towne Parlor is younger because it used to be Brother Jimmys and people under 21 were there all the time (same with Brickhouse) whereas Hudson Social is an older crowd. All of them have the same drinks, same prices, and same music.

Personally, if I want to go out with my friends I go to Murphy's on Franklin. It's more of a neighborhood pub and the two bartenders are the sons of the owners. It's a small venue and not a dance location, but you can have some drinks and talk to your friends and maybe chat with some strangers. Tiernan's is kind of ok for that too.

Personally I think they should open a bar called "Introverts" that simply plays the music 50% quieter. I think it'd be a hit.

Dr. LoPresti right downtown. He's a second-generation dentist. There are two LoPrestis Jon and Matt. You want Matt. He started it and he's the best.

Also I don't think he'll ever admit it but I think there's a requirement for his staff to be phenomenally attractive. They're all very good at their job too.

https://www.loprestidentalgroup.com/contact/

Compared to other cities yeah. Those areas are the west side, south end, and east side. Which isn't to say it's the entirety of the east, west, and south of Stamford. There are just areas that haven't gotten investment in decades so they look rundown. My definition of safe is to express you won't have a confrontation if you're in the area. I don't think these areas are great for taking a family stroll, but even with that caveat there's always some park you can walk to that's ideal for that.

For context I've lived in other cities like Boston, New York, Los Angeles and I've visited cities like DC, Baltimore, Nashville, Memphis, New Orleans, Houston, Austin, New Mexico, and some other places up north. There are definitely places I remember feeling scared for my life and Stamford doesn't come anywhere close to that.

Statistically Stamford is the safest city in the northeast measured by violent crime per capita for communities with 100,000 or more residents. So yes, it's very safe.

There are "worse areas" but it's really not an issue. Any violent crime in Stamford is from two people who know each other. Not hold ups.

Sounds like a light with a pressure sensor that you were either too far forward or too far back to trigger.

Also just blow the "no right on red" signs. They're absurdly proliferated to traffic accident stats (which they accomplish in the same way banning cars would).

Came to post Jefe's. It's across from Autozone on most nights.

1. The assessment is done every 3 years (or 4 years?) and is largely driven by the area you're in not the house itself. As you know, property values have jumped in the past few years and the state is catching up.

2. I believe the assessment is done by the state or at the very least follows pretty stringent state guidelines. I can't imagine gaining anything out of an appeal beyond a 15 minute meeting.

My property evaluation went up $20k and I bought this place in the second half of this year. It seems stupid but I don't think I'll gain anything that I'll lose by trying to track down who comes up with this crap.

When considering Stamford's school rating you need to consider the context of Stamford. This is a city next to many phenomenally wealthy suburban towns. Our neighbors are Greenwich, New Canaan, and Darien. Average home in Greenwich is $2.4M, New Canaan is $1.7M, Darien is $1.6M. Stamford? $600k. The wealth is a good indicator for other factors. Stamford is the most diverse city in Connecticut. Our neighbors are uniquely not diverse.

Lower incomes and more diverse student demographic means you need more educational services with less money. If your kid is average in Greenwich you may get a ton of services to help them out, but if they're average in Stamford they might not. Additionally, Stamford may not have as much funding for extracurricular activities these parents care about more. These are reasons they may call the school "bad" but that's not really the situation.

That's not the whole story. Stamford schools are not immune to criticism, but the ratings are not an accurate picture.