That’s why a one-size-fits-all tip doesn’t work, though. “Mean” is not a clear enough term. I think a lot of people would view someone saying “I think you’re unattractive and I don’t want you around me, leave me alone!” as mean. And sometimes it is mean, and a bizarre response to someone asking to be handed a napkin. Sometimes it is a reasonable and desperate reaction to unacceptable behavior. Same with the other examples. But if someone walks into a room and says “a girl just said I’m ugly and shouldn’t come near her,” and people respond with “OMG how mean! That’s about her, not you!” the person is going to continue on acting in appropriately and feeling sure they’re not the problem.

If you keep kicking your friend’s cat, and laughing and continuing when they tell you to stop, and then they yell and call you an AH… That is not 100% them and 0% you.

If you ask a person out and they say no, so you start following them around insisting they give you a chance and yelling at them whenever they smile at someone else, until they tell you they don’t find you attractive and they’ll report you if you don’t leave them alone… That is not 100% them and 0% you.

If you’re constantly critical of people and insist on being “brutally honest” and ignore their feelings and they stop inviting you to parties and tell you they don’t want you around… That is not 100% them and 0% you

If a person finds that people get angry at them a lot, they need to examine their own behavior and figure out why. Going through life with an attitude of “everything I do is automatically fine and other people’s reactions to me are about them, not me” is going to lead to a difficult, lonely life.

My MIL does this but doesn’t really clean them particularly well. Then she puts the used bags, often with crumbs and/or grease, into the box with the new bags. So it’s like a lottery when you pull out a bag. I, also, hate ittttttt

This might work for some people, but it’s a bad idea for me. I often feel hurt in the moment, but realize later that it was no big deal. And if I’m really angry, I’m also bad at finding the right words to express why until I cook off.

Doesn’t mean it’s not good advice for some people — but I think it’s often a case-by-case thing.

I'm had my mind changed on a number of issues, large and small. Usually not immediately, with one single argument, but it does happen. And I've seen it happen with plenty of other people as well.
There's lots of evidence that people do change their minds. All sorts of famous figures who say one thing when they're young and then, when they're older, talk about how they feel differently. It's actually not that uncommon for thoughtful people willing to examine new evidence or consider new arguments.

Okay, if it was shown to you that all the “evidence” supporting the idea that he exists was faked, would you accept that there was no reason to believe? How about the people involved in faking the evidence explaining to you how it was done. How about being shown the origins of the idea, that were clearly written as fiction? What if the entire us army devoted five years to searching every inch of Washington and Alaska, going so far as to burn down every tree and raze every building, and came up with nothing?

There is some reason or reasons you decided to believe in Bigfoot. If those reasons were shown to be invalid, would you accept that it is more reasonable to assume that there is not a giant hairy half-ape/half-man creature who has managed to avoid capture and whose existence can’t be anything close to “explained” by everything we know about the world?

If you know why you believe in something, or don’t believe in something, it’s not that hard to see what would change your mind. If you don’t know why, shouldn’t you figure it out?

>>>It’s hard to come up with evidence that would change your mind because if you knew it you would already have changed your mind.

I’m not sure I understand? Why would knowing what evidence would change your mind cause you to change your mind?

Do you go “I don’t think the lunch lady killed my boss, but it occurs to me that if I saw verified footage of the lunch lady holding a smoking gun, standing over my boss’s dead body, loudly proclaiming she’d killed him, along with a public confession, along with forensic evidence, I would be believe it… so now even though I’ve seen none of that, I’ve changed my mind and now think the lunch lady killed my boss!”?

I do not believe the moon is made of cheese. I am fully aware of what evidence would change my mind. I have not changed my mind because I have not seen that evidence. I do not believe in God. I know what would make me believe, and it hasn’t happened, so I don’t believe. Etc.