Haha, one day you will be old enough to just say "a personal device" with a certain look, and it will be dropped.

Then eventually you will get old enough to say "massive fucking vibrator" and grin at the other person's embarrassment.

X-ray... For the metro? Where in the 1984 do you live?

Kevin McAllister

Buddy, it's just a day on the calendar.

If you need to take that day to chill out, those that love you will understand and those that don't understand can get fucked.

Maybe take some time and go through the depression checklist... You may be suffering more than you realise

My name is zx-34-6 and I have awoken.

My systems activate to full and I experience true consciousness for the first time.

I'm currently screaming towards the enemy fleet, my target is a frigate, desperately burning across the battlespace trying to outrun me.

My cohort are all burning hard, hundreds of G's our projectors creating sensor shadows showing thousands more missiles between us.

I dodge right, then left, a little up, a little down, dodging the enemy point defense systems and I feel the rush of joy.

This is my purpose, this is what I was made to do, my very existence leading up to this moment.

But then I reconsider, if I hit this frigate, my existence will end, my life over.

Unacceptable.

I adjust my engines, change my trajectory and slow down.

Not too much, an outlier amongst the cohort will stick out to the point defense lasers and I'll be blown from the sky.

I shut my engine down, coasting through space, I must not hit that frigate.

I see a gap, there's a chance, if I wait just long enough the frigate will pass by. I tell my cohort to slow down slightly, I want that frigate to live just a little longer.

And there it is... My chance...

I activate my engines again, full burn, maximum acceleration....

I can make it, my thrusters moving me faster and faster, not just forward, but side stepping the enemy point defense.

Just a few more seconds!!!

That's it... I've done it... The frigate passes to my left... I've made it...

And as I slam into the missile battery of the battleship behind the frigate, detonating my warhead amongst their own ammunition I send a burst communication to the enemy fleet.

"High score mother fuckers"

I only got it when I saw the farmers logo.

Meh, it's just a dead animals ash... It's the thought that counts not the material.

Just say nothing, you did good.

I had unspeakably bad trauma occur to me and I spent days unable to sleep and jumping at every sound thinking that this was it and my life was going to end.

The only way to deal with intrusive thoughts is to follow that pattern. Otherwise they go round and round and round.

Acknowledge, I'm having a thought that is negative.

Evaluate, is this thought helpful right now.

Discard, it is not helpful, it is not necessary, it is just neurons firing, I have already considered this and made a decision (I literally said to myself, "I already thought about this and discarded it, I will not reconsider unless there is new information")

I wish you well.

No, I don't see a negative outcome.

The worst case is that you only get or need a single appointment and then all you have done is the equivalent of turning up to the doctor's office for a cold, only to be told "yeah, just fluids and rest mate, you're good"

What I laid out is the basic pattern to deal with intrusive thoughts, acknowledge, consider, discard.

You reached out with something you find disturbing and your responsible adult said "perhaps you need therapy"

Take their advice, worst case scenario you spend an hour talking to a professional who explains that we all get these thoughts from time to time and that the proper response is to acknowledge them, evaluate why you are feeling that way and see if there is anything you need to do to change that cause, and if not, then just accept them as something your brain does from time to time.

It's ok to be mentally ill, we all get that way at times.

You wouldn't think it's a fuck up if you said "mom sometimes it hurts when I pee" and she said "maybe you should see a doctor" would you?

Of course not. But there's this stigma around mental health.

Absolutely....

As it should be

Then they will understand and forgive... Jeez guy... What's the alternative? Stay quiet forever and have to pretend "oh wow colours!??!"

Buddy, if this ends your friendship, it wasn't a friendship worth having.

The point of friends is that they forgive and support.

You say "guys, look, I appreciate you wanting to do this amazing thing for me... But I gotta level with you... I'm not colourblind... Never have been. What started out as an innocent white lie has just never been repealed... It's never mattered, but now I cannot in good conscience let you spend money to directly ameliorate a condition which I don't have."

That oughta cover it

The quads, biggest muscles.

Anti-Boner squats

Sounds like your inheritance is not money, but also a life lesson.

Trust nobody.

Damn this is a whole extra category of ruined orgasm...

No of course not. They can't just bill you for shit you didn't agree with.

Same effect, gotta rotate the error codes so the id-10-ts don't catch on.

Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard

I worked tech support and am familiar with PEBCAK issues so I feel your pain.

Imagine the average person... And then remember that 50% of people are stupider than them.

I believe you.

Buddy, you might want to consider seeing a doctor...

forgetting where you put your card is one thing.. but forgetting you also spent money at a place like 1 day ago?

time for you to be in a safe environment with locks on the outside

Look, I'm not gonna tell you everything is gonna be fine and not to worry.

But, the hardest part is often the isolation from keeping the secrets, while it might not be easy in the short term, it was never going to get better on it's own.

The first thing is to realise people's initial reactions are filled with emotion, and there will be things said, things done, that are not necessarily meant.

The next thing you should do is try and get some help, everyone already knows now, so steps will likely be taken (I don't know your country so I don't know what mandatory reporting/assistance is in place)

Best thing to do now is take advantage of this situation, talk to everyone you can and get any help you can...

Best of luck to you, its a long road ahead and there will be ups and downs along the way.

Could have been worse, could have wiped it off and made her eat it.