Why the fuck would you put the drink in the bag?

My younger sister used to babysit a little boy. Kid followed me around constantly, asking me questions. Because my summer job had me working nights, this was not fun for me.

One day, he asks if our parents ever spanked us, and I said no. "Well, how did they punish you when you were bad?"

So, I pointed to the corner of the patio, brick walls on two sides, and a pile of spare bricks. I told him that, when we were bad, Mom made us stand in the corner, and she would throw chunks of brick at us. We were allowed to dodge, but if we got hit, that was our punishment.

He scoffed at this. Well, my sister has a scar between her eyes, from chicken pox. I said "Ryan, you know that scar sister has? Brick. She was too slow one day".

Well, he was playing with one of Mom's emery board nail files, and when I told him that, his eyes got big and he broke the file in half. I was like, Oh, dear, that's a brick waiting to happen.

Afew minutes later, I go inside to talk to my Mom, and ryan comes running in "Please, Mrs Squig, please don't make me stand in a corner and throw bricks at me! I'm sorry!".

In the end, he told his parents the story, and they started having my sister care for him at their own home.

to be fair - most people aren't going to think, on Christmas Day, that you hadn't bothered to eat for 2 days previously.

this wasn't a case of dinner taking a long time to serve, this was somebody who skipped food for 2 days.

Fuckin newbies always overdo edibles. lol.

I once ate a gram of hash one night, and then passed out in a job interview the next afternoon. Like, right out for 10 minutes.

Still got the job.

Is it a waste of money if it means not dying on the road?

In my opinion, if you have no real experience driving in snow storm condition, do not drive at all.

Later on, we'll perspire, while Grandpa pees in the fire.

It's gonna stink, cause Grandpa's a dink,

Peeing in the fireplace again!

My mom used to read books like popcorn, she'd read nearly anything. We used to swap books back and forth, so I managed to get her to read Pratchett and Banks, stuff like that.

She drops off a pile and... holy shit. There's two Lustbader books, including "the Ninja".

I read them back when I was a teen. Each book is about 50% extreme ninja violence, and depraved sex. Like, I hid those books from my mom back in the day.

Could be worse.

I passed out in a job interview once, because I ate something I shouldn't have, the night before.

A gram of hash. I ate a gram of hash the night before.

Still got the job, oddly.

I have BPD, myself, I know how easy it is to get caught up in bad ideas.

I didn't intend to sound mean, it was more a "Oh, holy fuck, this is a bad idea!".

One, he's a raging asshole, and that attitude doesn't get wiped out by his money.

Two -you have BPD. Could you possibly pick a worse situation for yourself, like, one certain to fuck up a person with BPD?

Your fuck up wasn't your manners, your fuck up is being in this situation at all.

You need to lay off the booze and drugs.

Why would you put a heating product on your ring meat? Have you not ever read anything about people and hot pepper, or mentholated products having a burning man festival of their own if it his the sensitive bits.

I'll give you a tip - never use Vicks Vaporub as lube, it gets pretty intense.

I find 0.5 and 0.7 pretty interchangable for what I do with them. By choice, though, I use a lead holder, and swap out leads depending on what I am working on.

Now, technical pens? Yeah, it matters a lot for me to have the right tip for the right job. And they stopped making technical pens, so I'm very careful with them.

Mind you, I can't find my damn ink!

Cobra Chickens.

Hahaha. Seriously, dude, it shouldn't be a big deal. Even native English speakers fuck up pronouncing words.

I have a Colombian friend who speaks English very well, but still gets a few words wrong, usually by stressing the wrong part. so I'll correct her to spare her an experience like yours.

Also - a lot of us just take into account an accent, and learn to consider what the person meant from context.

I got it from my older cousins, and just paid the joy forward!

That's awesome.

As an older brother, I convinced my little sisters that we had another sister at one point, but she wouldn't behave, and one day she went for a drive with Mom and Dad, and never came back.

Then there was the time I convinced teh little kid my sister babysat that Mom used to punish us by making us stand in the corner while she threw bricks at us. I said that we were allowed to dodge, but that if we got hit, it was because we deserved it. It helped there were some spare bricks sitting in the corner of the patio.

He scoffed, so I told him my sister's forehead scar (chicken pox) was because she didn't dodge the brick once.

Well, he told his parents, and that was that for babysitting.

I know, right?

dude gave solid advice. Maybe you should mind your own business.

Getting the shit sweats is like watching all the water recede from a beach after an earthquake, you know you need to move fast to avoid the oncoming wave of... well, shit.

I worked for a place that sold stuff for sausage making (we actually sold everything a meat packer or butcher could need, except the meat.)

One day, this teeny little old Italian lady comes in, she had to be 90. She wanted to know how much sodium nitrate was in the sausage spice mixes.

Because, saltpeter used to be added to men's food to reduce libido, supposedly, and she was afraid her husband was being affected by it,because he ate home made sausage.

"The last few months, he doesn't want to make love anymore, and I think maybe it's the saltpeter!"

I said maybe it's because he's over 90, and just running out of energy, and she sadly agreed.

Evidently, some people never get too old to get horny.

Fuck up? Nope, that's hilarious.

I knew somebody you had to wake by poking them with the end of a broomstick, because he always, always, came up swinging.

Seems like you redid the old Maxell adds.

I knew a WW2 Vet, dude finished as a Regimental Sargent Major. Blackie. Super nice guy, just a little brick of upbeatness.

I worked at a mall. One day, a group of teen boys were being all obnoxious and stuff just inside the mall.

Blackie walks in "YOU MEN STAND DOWN!". Everybody in earshot froze and stood up straight.

Teens quietly apologize and walk out.

Of course it was a big ass wasps, what other kind of wasp lurks on chairs?

Fuck wasps, by the way.