McMenemized places fucking suck. The beer and food are shitty and sorely overpriced.
If I’d NEVER been to Seattle EVER before:
I’d do the stupid Space Needle. Not the crappy restaurant, just the suicide jumper deck.
Next, Seattle Center because I’m already there, and just spent more on a shitty elevator ride than I did on my parking garage fee.
Next, I’d go do that bullshit dead fish juggle at Pike Place market just get the lame social media pic. Then there’s that disgusting gum alley.
Next, take em down to Pier 54 to blow more $$$ on stupid tourist shit.
You can get some size XX size Twilight T-Shirts before you pig out at McDonald’s and feed the leftover French fries to seagulls before you board the Winslow ferry.

Oh yeah also: Fer fucksake never eat at Del Taco unless you wanna spend the next three days shitting your guts out. Also the highway cops are dicks. A radar/laser detector is recommended.

Rainier never even visited North America. Cap’n Vancouver just wanted to kiss his bosses’ asses so he named everything after them. Hence, “Cape Flattery.”

I agree. Last time we took the Amtrak down, Courthouse square had become like East Hastings in Vancouver BC like something out of Robocop. Nutjobs howling at the moon and tweekers fucking with you at the food truck courts. 0/10. But I don’t think you can get through Customs with mace. Just buy some when you get into Portland at a sporting goods store, and shitcan it before you try to cross back.

Chihuly is a hack. His profits off young, dumb kids he tricks into working for him.

There’s fuckall along 101 from Port Angeles all along Hood Canal. Skip Hoodsport. It sucks.
That said, the Mexican food in Shelton, the burgers in Tacoma (if you take the Hood Canal bridge over to Hwy 3 and pay the Narrows bridge toll, saves you about an hour and is safer) are both crazy good. I highly recommend taking the Bremerton/Tacoma route rather than the slow winding shitshow that is US101. Just South of Tacoma is Lakewood which has the best Korean and Vietnamese cuisine North of Los Angeles.

Olympia is boring, lame and doesn’t have shit for decent anything.

Centralia has a decent Mexican place called La Tarasca. Chehalis has a place called The Shire that was started by a guy whom was fucked over by Portland-based McMenemin’s. Don’t waste any time or money at a McMenemin’s restaurant. The food and drinks both are super overpriced and shitty. They’re all over Portland.
Further South from Chehalis is a burger joint of the Vader exit called Mrs. Beesley’s. It’s actually decent, and full of the pictures of all the celebrities that have been there over the decades.
Longview has a decent seafood restaurant and great Mexican food. Asshole cops though.
South of Longview, you might as well punch through to Portland. There’s was good food in Vancouver, but it’s off the beaten path, and a pain in ass to get to and then get back to the freeway. I don’t know what survived the pandemic.
Hope that helps.

Anything west of Chicago, they think we live in log cabins and teepees.

I was in a backwoods bar in central Pennsylvania. The woman running barkeep asked where I was from. I told her “Up near Seattle.” She said Oh, my dad took me to the Spokane World’s Fair!
About 3 minutes later, I took a leak.
When I returned to my barstool, my wife whispered “WE NEED TO GET OUT NOW!!”
We snuck out the back and stomped through 2ft deep snow through the woods to run off. Turns out, the local hick population jumped all over her the minute I got up to piss. Fuck Appalachia.

Want something to be extra fucked with? There’s a Tahoma neighborhood in Washington DC. It’s named after Mt Rainier. It was named by a bunch of Jesus freaks that thought they were as close to heaven as the peak of Mt Rainier. It was the site of their HQ.
So yeah, there’s a Tahoma, Washington, DC.