Waitsfornoone
Waitsfornoone t1_iwxzrgw wrote
Reply to I hate jokes about John Denver by Animeking1108
That's the downside of rocky mountain high.
Waitsfornoone t1_ivtd0i9 wrote
Reply to A "large" man is seated at a restaurant and the waiter brings an enormous steak. by RibaldPancake
A "large" man is eating a steak dinner at a restaurant when the waitress comes over and asks him "How did you find the steak, sir?"
The man looks at her and replies "I just moved the potatoes."
Waitsfornoone t1_iumcpnd wrote
Imaginary.
Waitsfornoone t1_iuhrnjw wrote
"Over and out."
Waitsfornoone t1_iuhrkmt wrote
Reply to comment by DerRaumdenker in My wife accused me of achieving nothing... by Wallygonk
No, I'm thinking about baseball.
Waitsfornoone t1_iuhr7va wrote
Reply to A guy walks into a bar on Halloween by Firegoat1
I'm guessing this was not in London.
Waitsfornoone t1_iuhr0iw wrote
Reply to comment by Peace_Is_Coming in It's 2am and the doorbell rings. by ShortingBull
Welcome to r/Jokes Captain Obvious.
Waitsfornoone t1_iugbuz5 wrote
Reply to comment by RizKrispin in A tough looking cowboy dressed all in black rides into town.. by Aggravating-Sink8174
Same as everyone else: Working the room.
Waitsfornoone t1_iuby04t wrote
Cry.
Waitsfornoone t1_iubvwnr wrote
Reply to comment by ResQMedic78 in How much cocaine can Charlie Sheen do? by Senepicmar
... if Sheen kept doing lines?!?
Waitsfornoone t1_iuava6m wrote
Reply to joke about icecream by JaydenIsAPerson
You're keeping your day job, right? Asking for a friend.
Waitsfornoone t1_iuav2r0 wrote
Reply to Help needed. I'm looking for variations of come backs to yes or no questions like "Does a bear poop in the woods?" by tito-boy
Do you?
Doesn't everyone?
Waitsfornoone t1_iuaux99 wrote
Finally figuring shit out, huh?
Waitsfornoone t1_iuauart wrote
Reply to comment by mi7hab in An armless, legless girl rested on the beach crying by Arkvoodle42
Yep, Bob's brother. Bob took the cleaner route.
Waitsfornoone t1_iuataim wrote
... but not as stupid as that hat you're wearing.
Waitsfornoone t1_iuaszd6 wrote
Reply to Two people go into an empty bus... by CK17_live
The Hippy: "These mushrooms are fantastic."
Waitsfornoone t1_iuasoef wrote
Reply to comment by buddycheesus in Two people go into an empty bus... by CK17_live
Lady's preference.
Waitsfornoone t1_iu6owhu wrote
Have you two considered group therapy?
Waitsfornoone t1_iu4zba5 wrote
People keep telling me I'm an asshole.
(That means I'm not only full of shit, but also talk shit to them).
Waitsfornoone t1_iu47bym wrote
Hey, he's now the Head Twit.
Waitsfornoone t1_itz6wpr wrote
Same with the vacuum cleaner.
Waitsfornoone t1_itxoagt wrote
"After the entwives disappeared, the number of ents began to dwindle because they weren't getting enough "new-tree-ents".
[H/T u/benrules2]
Waitsfornoone t1_itxgzqv wrote
Reply to It took me 39 years, but I finally understand. When someone says "hold your horses" what they mean is... by [deleted]
Horse jokes?
I was absolutely devastated when my horse died. I had a lot of money riding on that race.
I think the wife's got me a build-it-yourself scale model of a horse for my birthday next month.
I've just found a big piece of it hidden in her bedside drawer.
Waitsfornoone t1_itwb50s wrote
Since she had already driven to the ranch and into town, why wouldn't she just drive back herself to tell her sister?
So for your cake day, you're really trying to slip in a dumb brunette joke, aren't you?
Waitsfornoone t1_ixhetrf wrote
Reply to comment by Musaks in There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail with illegible addresses… by Biriuk1337
Well, it appears they both have a long white beard, and no one has seen either since ... whenever.