Waitsfornoone
Waitsfornoone t1_iy83iov wrote
Make sure he stops counting when he reaches her; counting any thereafter will only cause trouble.
Waitsfornoone t1_iy80hvw wrote
Reply to comment by berkleysquare in I tried donating two classic board games to a thrift store, but they said they could only take one. I asked which one they wanted and they said... by chopselmcity
Is this the game that used to be called Chutes and Ladders?
Waitsfornoone t1_iy6m97z wrote
Reply to A Scottish woman walks into a sex store. She has a shopping for a dildo. by badpuffthaikitty
Right behind her was an elderly lady with a shaky voice asking "do y-y-ooou-u s-s-sell vib-b-rat-ors?"
The salesman told her "yes we do, ma'am" to which she replies "h-h-how d-do I t-turn-n it off-ff?"
Waitsfornoone t1_iy6kiem wrote
Bill Gates' accusers.
Waitsfornoone t1_iy6kbt4 wrote
Reply to Stingy old lawyer by Goatmanthealien
Better yet, just take the cash out as it can get moldy, and put in brand new shiny checks instead.
[... and Yes, I stole that from the other "can't take it with you" joke]
Waitsfornoone t1_iy6k3oe wrote
Reply to comment by Civil_Knowledge7340 in Stingy old lawyer by Goatmanthealien
Sure, if you believe Monopoly money can pay your way into heaven.
Waitsfornoone t1_iy69qw4 wrote
Just yesterday, a friend told me you can get Botox for your ballsack to get rid of all the wrinkles.
That's is pretty nuts!
Waitsfornoone t1_iy6987r wrote
Reply to comment by BronxLens in Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo by Maleficent-Cicada869
He liked his comment so much he did it twice.
Waitsfornoone t1_iy28taf wrote
Reply to comment by crispRampart990 in An old couple was sitting in Church... by Goatmanthealien
I thought the punch line was: "Next, let's work on your hearing."
Waitsfornoone t1_iy27uw9 wrote
Reply to comment by GrandDukeOfNowhere in I was voted “Least likely to Succeed” by my high school class. by porichoygupto
Apparently, they do now.
Waitsfornoone t1_iy27t24 wrote
Reply to comment by Internal_Fennel_849 in I was voted “Least likely to Succeed” by my high school class. by porichoygupto
... and the first student in the class to make it with his teacher.
Waitsfornoone t1_iy27onn wrote
Reply to comment by montyliao65 in I was voted “Least likely to Succeed” by my high school class. by porichoygupto
But what a unit he has!
Waitsfornoone t1_iy0e1s7 wrote
Reply to comment by drowninginteger in Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? by daird1
He beat out last year's winner: the Scarecrow.
Waitsfornoone t1_iy0b5jy wrote
Reply to comment by B0-Dh1 in A teacher asks Little Johnny, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” by DrCalFun
Go, go.
Go Johnny, go.
Waitsfornoone t1_iy0awvc wrote
Reply to comment by cultfollower_ in A teacher asks Little Johnny, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” by DrCalFun
Like that's never be done before.
There is a solution to every problem; it's just that some solutions are not the best or totally legal.
Waitsfornoone t1_iy0alpf wrote
Reply to comment by Trid1977 in A teacher asks Little Johnny, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” by DrCalFun
It's kind of like South Park or Charlie Brown; Why have them grow up when the humor is so good?
As for this 'repost,' it is almost always the really good ones that keep getting repeated. Every single day, there are folks on r/Jokes who've never seen this joke before.
Waitsfornoone t1_ixutss9 wrote
Reply to I saw that our local zoo has an interesting attraction : A lion and a sheep living peacefully in the same cage. by RibaldPancake
A zoo joke I had never heard before:
A man built a zoo..
He made the entrance fee $60 but no one enters his zoo.. He reduced it to $40 but still no one came.He made $10 for the entrance but no one still enters..
What the man did, because no one was coming in even though the entrance fee was very low, he just made it FREE.
As a result, many people entered the zoo and it was filled with people. More than 4000 people came in.
He then quietly locked the zoo gate, freed the crocodiles, lions and tigers and then made an exit fee of $100.Everyone paid immediately just to get out!
Waitsfornoone t1_ixqw7tu wrote
... and then the cops showed up.
Waitsfornoone t1_ixn3u6y wrote
Just as well; if she didn't wash her hands, the 'extra sauce' on the croissants costs an additional €1.
Waitsfornoone t1_ixmx80s wrote
Reply to It can get hairy. by Direct_Conclusion_40
That ends today's chapter on: "Why you're not getting laid."
Waitsfornoone t1_ixmx2vw wrote
Reply to comment by [deleted] in It can get hairy. by Direct_Conclusion_40
... and that's the last time i ever saw her.
Waitsfornoone t1_ixmamoe wrote
Reply to comment by Ishidan01 in An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel... by yapmadiyorum
No one ever described Goliath as a genius.
Waitsfornoone t1_ixkvgdk wrote
The plot thickens!
Waitsfornoone t1_ixkj6b0 wrote
I'd of had a heart attack too. Goliath had him 2 to 1 in stature alone, much less experience, this should not have even been a contest.
Those Silly Philistines.
Waitsfornoone t1_iyad7d2 wrote
Reply to When my friends talk about the 80s they think of boom boxes..i had to stop them. by Expert_Act3456
Could you repeat that louder? I can barely hear anything.