I've been taking Viagra for my sunburn. It doesn't cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night.

UGH that sucksssss! never use a debit if you can avoid it. takes too long to get the cash back.

A man goes to a costume party with nothing but a naked woman on his back.

"What are you supposed to be then?" the host asks.” "I'm a turtle."

"How can you be a turtle when all you've got is that naked woman on your back?" "Oh her?" He smiles. "That's just Michelle"