> I feel that I am doing a LOT for the family, and although I don't think her days are easy I get frustrated when I am made to feel like her life is so much harder than mine and that I don't have to deal with the same challenges she does.
All together, you and your wife are responsible for: parenting two very young kids + one full-time job + managing a household. That's a lot. That's more than 2 persons' worth of work. You are both really tired, overworked and stressed out.
It's not a competition. You shouldn't compare yourself to her and try to figure out "who has it worse".
It sounds like you both need to work on expressing appreciation for each other and also getting to the heart of what the other person is communicating (because "sending Instas to my husband" is a very weird roundabout way of communicating, and I suspect the message you're getting is not the one she's meaning to send.)
Have you looked into couples counseling? This is bread-and-butter stuff for a marital therapist.
constanceblackwood12 t1_ja9t38i wrote
Reply to I (36M) am starting to resent my wife (36F) for her attitude towards our division of labor by ThrowRA_resentfuldad
> I feel that I am doing a LOT for the family, and although I don't think her days are easy I get frustrated when I am made to feel like her life is so much harder than mine and that I don't have to deal with the same challenges she does.
All together, you and your wife are responsible for: parenting two very young kids + one full-time job + managing a household. That's a lot. That's more than 2 persons' worth of work. You are both really tired, overworked and stressed out.
It's not a competition. You shouldn't compare yourself to her and try to figure out "who has it worse".
It sounds like you both need to work on expressing appreciation for each other and also getting to the heart of what the other person is communicating (because "sending Instas to my husband" is a very weird roundabout way of communicating, and I suspect the message you're getting is not the one she's meaning to send.)
Have you looked into couples counseling? This is bread-and-butter stuff for a marital therapist.