Yeah this kid is a punk

I was married to someone from Mass when I moved to New Hampshire from California and regularly thought, “What’s the big deal?”

Well now I’m divorced and have had more Mass plates try to murder me and my kid while driving that I’ve come to learn.

You don’t think it’s a big deal because you’re from Mass. You all inherently suck so bad.

I don’t understand? I’m pretty conservative and a father who thinks that taking whatever measure possible to ensure kids’ utmost safety transcends politics? To make it relatable for you; Just think of the Moloch worshipping, adrenochrome guzzling, lizard-people-pedophiles in the White House for God’s sake.

This story reminds me of a similar moment I had at VIP Tires on Lafayette in Portsmouth.

Couple of years ago I had taken my car there to get inspected. Through the inspection they determined that I needed new tires in order to be able to successfully pass. I begrudgingly broke down and let them replace the tires (because I just wanted to get inspection over and done with).

Flash to this year; Thinking that they still have my name and car information on file, I return to VIP in Portsmouth to handle my inspection. I schedule an appointment and when I arrive I’m made aware that no one actually penciled my appointment in. They were seemingly aware of their fuck up and assured me they would get me in. Thinking, “ok, whatever. Sounds great.” I ended up waiting around for HOURS longer than I even should have.

But that’s not the worst part. While inspecting my car the manager approaches me and goes “I hate to tell you this but it looks like the tread on your tires is worn down in a way that they need to be replaced. Believe it or not looks like whoever put them on for you installed them backwards. Come with me and I’ll give you a quote for the new tires.”

Imagine my open mouth shock at the absolute fucking audacity of this situation. I reply, “YOU guys installed the tires.” The manager pulls up my file, suddenly gets really quiet, sweaty and wide-eyes and goes, “Oh.”

Miraculously the tires ended up not even being an issue and I passed inspection with flying colors! And while I was walking out the manager taps me on the arm and with a coy smile goes, “Don’t worry. We overlooked that tire thing for you. We love to take care of our customers.”

I still laugh thinking about it.

I had no idea on what this was an after some independent research these guys look like DOUCHES. Also the graphic design on their merch is some of the worst shit I’ve ever seen. Some real vomit inducing shit right there.