I’m also a grown man that went through years of therapy to be in the place I want to be. Do I understand what my parents were trying to do? Yes. Did it actually help me get anywhere faster? No.

Life pushed me and then my own work on self improvement got me there. And that self improvement doesn’t depend on getting abused. You’re clinging to old ways and bad parenting. Good parents can teach without pain. Good parents have their own trauma under control.

I’m sorry that your parents are dead and that you’re grieving them but grief doesn’t mean that they were right.

I mean are you actually happy with being beat or are you just justifying it because you love you parents? If you dig down, I think you’d realize that beating kids only makes them into angry adults. Do you have as much emotional reserves as you want or treat people as well as you wish you were treated? Can you honestly be there for someone without flying into a rage on their behalf?

Tons of studies have shown that physical punishment is detrimental to childhood development and typically leaves mental scars. If you’ve ever had anger issues it’s likely caused by the fact that you saw your parents use that on you.