It's possible that's code for fear, self-doubt or lack of confidence.

You could see a marriage counsellor together who might be able to help him.

>I’ve had multiple conversations with him about all of this but it’s not going anywhere. I told him it is unfulfilling and I want a partnership, not a one sided service agreement.

When you've expressed your feelings on the matter multiple times and he doesn't want to change/help, there's nothing left to do. You made a mistake, get a divorce.