This to me means I can just make something for myself. Sooo thats not so bad.

Almost like we have basic blue prints in there.

"Fine they want to play that way" I said " Hey Googly start a new list called Latest creation user stories"

"Sure thing, what would you like to add first" Replied Jade. " should I put on some music while you work?"

"Yes sure whatever you feel like listening to just keep it out of the recording please." I replied.

"Rolling" Replied Jade.

"Okay let's start basic. In the end they try to turn my inventions into weapons as big as possible. I am going to need something to protect the individual completely."

"Your latest shield design should handle that. It's latest upgrade to protect against reality manipulate and temporal anomaly generator would be a good start. Shall I add it to the tool box? " Asked Jade.

"Sure in fact let's update the list name to Tools instead of user story." I said. "I think it's time we created my first omni tool. Please add direct connection to yourself. You are the only NBC I trust with this."

"May I assign proxies in the event I am unavailable?" She asked

"Of course you would know who the end user trusts the most. Thinking I said okay so that covers secure communications and teleportation along with all your other connected tools."

"So basicly that leaves including anything new you can come up with and things you haven't personally created."

"Sounds like we need to make some calls to make this perfect." I stated. "Right now I'm picturing quantum microbots that can project all of these tools to the user. Like a pattern buffer that is a shield emitter and personal phasing device"

Turning to the audience I ask "you dudes have anything to add?"

If you want an extreme karma imbalance you do something stupid like that. Especially if the act was malicious. Otherwise just use the butterfly effect and make sure the end cause is just a simple misunderstanding. In the end you can generate ALOT of GOOD KARMA by just using a rubegoldberg machine to keep people away from accidents and their own mistakes. I use laughter and education personally it helps avoid any traumas that some idiots think need directly faced to be understood. Frankly I don't trust anyone that tries to cross that boundary.

If it's realities audit log I'd love to take a gander and fix some shit going forward.

Just make sure you aren't using the truth to hurt either.

Ah gotch

I belive you are confusing that episode for Butters.

Well we know what it can be if you are brave enough.

I'm telling you all this surveillance is going to lead to a lawsuit over the ownership of timetravel.

"Okay look, I need you to PR this reality update. I identified the concept blocking life the universe and everything and it passed unit testing and QA. Please make sure all existing paradoxes are not effected and the new paradox always cancels them out. Don't worry you don't need to know which one it is, just make sure any paradox still works to confirm."

Always use a baby wipe before fornication 😆

And the great ♻️ moves on

"We prefer the term warlock but someone decided there had to be an imbalance between witches and warlocks." Shouted a voice. Followed by a chorus of other voices both witch and warlock alike in agreement and unison.

"Yea who was the one that came up with that concept?" Shouted the witches of the primary coven of witches. "We know we didn't because it's interfering with taking care if the children."

"It wasn't us we realized long ago its a team effort." Said the tribunal members of the summoners. "Well as long as we understand what's going on that is."

"The collective is in agreement." All voices said in unison.

"God damn it..... that's what we all forgot to do." Eveyone said in unison. In that moment the problem was solved and people went home for some much needed rest.

They had an entire world to fix tommorow.

Roger Roger

"Hun look what I found!!!" I exclaimed proudly holding up my treasure.

"Ohhh a bonsai tree like you have always wanted!!" My wife said beaming with happiness.

"Yea but this one is extra special it's a Yggsdrasil!! I have a frigging world tree to take Care of and nurture!" I said almost bouncing in my happiness.

My wife laughed and asked "soooo what does that mean?"

"It means I am now responsible for an anchor of reality and as a bonus I get to see all the lives this tree will nurture and protect!" I responded.

"So you are gonna see the lives of humans?" She asked.

"No no no, this is just a baby tree it is meant to watch over the children and babies of existance. Taking care of everything else is something I only need to do in emergencies or to cover a vacation." Setting the tree down under the perfect grow lights of my aquaponics system.

"Soo how are you going to take care of it. No offense but your ADHD makes me worry the plant won't survive very long." My wife said, concern in her voice.

I chuckled and replied. "Why do you think I am putting it in my aquaponics system? It will have its own perfectly self contained environment and all I have to do it keep the power flowing. You always handled harvest times."

"Okay just make sure the dogs don't pee on it and the cats don't eat it." She said as she left the room to take care of her tasks for the day. "Love you!"

"Love you too" I replied "see you in a few hours!"

I still say we need to put research intro bio engineered gur bacteria to produce needed medicines like insulin with normal diet or "other" beneficial things.

Let's hope this doesn't get to our chicken populations

I know my timing is alittle off. Still trying to sync my clock with everyones

I am so sorry to be honest I'm a bit scattered around so I might be throwing breadcrumbs alittle off.

"Ahhh shit here we go again." I said getting to my feet.

"Let's see if they got anything fixed while I was gone." I said to myself heading north until I came across a road and followed it to town.

Looking around the town and seeing everyone stressed and unhappy I sighed and said "looks like leadership didn't do jack shit..."

"Well looks like they are gonna get a rude awaking when I show everyone how lazy they have been." I said cracking my knuckles and walking thru town as I waved my hands causing potholes to rewind back to their complete state. A snap of my fingers cause the lawns and plant life to grow and bloom. And with a clap of my hands I blew away all the dread, dispare and fear.

"One down and a few million more to go...." I said catching my breath after the exertion of will. " I am gonna need to train up some apprentices, I do not want to do all this by myself."

"We kind of need you to do that though." A voice said from both my shoulders.

Turning my head side to side I could see the Visage of a demon on one shoulder and an angel on the other.

The figures then began speaking in turns in their own voices but as one continuous speech.

"Those with powers like ours must be used only to maintain balance. "

"My job is to scare away the dark so the light can shine out of people" said the angel.

"My job is to scare away the light so the light can be guided to those who need it most" said the devil.

"Wait aren't your sides supposed to be at war?" I said not quite understanding.

"No no no, that's my brother from another mother why would I do that." Said the angel.

"Seriously I love my sisters even though we walk opposite paths." Confirmed the Devil.

With that they both appeared to freeze in place then start to gently rock back and forth.

In one voice they said "humanity was always meant to find the balance for all."

"Soooooo I'm not supposed to find apprentices?" I asked surprised.

"Nope you just need to shine when you need and reflect when they need. That is how they will find you." They said with smiles. "Now let's get to work we have alot to do."

"Okay ya know what... fuck you". I said finally tired of his shit.

"We all wipe your ass daily and you want to send everyone to die???" I continued while he was to dumbstruck to act. "Our teenagers have alot in common and since you didn't even fucking TRY diplomacy properly."

I expected the guards to strike me down swiftly for dare challenging the king. But instead the dozen honor guards just started laughing until they were almost doubled over.

"About time someone put that little shit in his place. My brother was telling that the "darklord" actually accepts their peoples union and lives no better than any of her subjects."

"A WOMAN!!! YOU ARE ALL SCARED OF A WOMAN!!!" The king raged.

"Show some respect for your betters you whiny little shit. Its about time you grow up."The guard closest to the king smacked him in the back of his head.

"Ya know what...." The lead soldier said "who needs this asshole" as he spoke he ripped the king from his throne and flung him across the room."

"You want the job sir?" The captain asked.

"Hell no look what it did to that asshole." I said waving my hand. "Beside he didn't actually do anything anyways just made others do the work and took the credit."

"Good point." As the captain spoke another guard came forward ending a call on his cellphone.

"So called my brother and the Darklord started crying she was so happy he said. They are throwing a celebration party and we are all invited!!!"

"How did they throw that together so fast?" The captain asked?

"Turns out they have been prepared for an eternity. They were just waiting for us to figure things out."

"Sweet" said the guards in unison.

One of the younger guards spoke up "but who will guard the castle?"

"Who cares we are turning it into housing for all the people anyways."

I apologize it wasn't meant as an insult or anything like that. It's more I wanted you to THINK (just think) of the smallest impact of a situation possible.

Also I don't know you enough to give you exactly what you need but I felt you needed a bread crumb so I gave you the only one I had at the time.

Look at it as I looked over your shoulder while you were putting together a puzzle and you were short pieces so I gave you one I found and while it wasn't your piece it fit so you could easily add other pieces that were yours.

Please hold onto it until you find someone else that needs it cause you will then have need of it.

"Congratulations" said a voice from the shadows."you are the first chosen one who willingly chose to exist as one."

"But I didn't actually do anything I just helped people believe so they wouldn't be stressed out." I said my voice trembling but still confident.

"Don't worry my dude that's not fear you are feeling its excitement for finally knowing who you are. You will get used to it but it will scare others who don't know themselves. Here come have a seat." With that all the shadows vanished, curtains swept away from the windows and the purest light of day flooded the chamber.

"Now to get straight to the point. The chosen one is just a concept, an ideal to live up to. It comes with the benefit that if people even know there is a chosen one they can live their lives free of stress from the.... what do people call them? Boogeymen?" He said while escorting me to a seat at a table that suddenly appeared.

"Okay now down to business. I need to train you to be my replacement. " he said beaming with pride.

"But I don't want to be evil!!!!" I cried.

"No no no, I want to teach you how to be the perfect guiding light for others nothing more. I had to walk the dark path to put warnings for others."

"A guide? Everyone said I needed to be a leader." I said quizzical.

"Leaders don't declare themselves they are chosen by the free will of the people." He said putting a hand on my shoulder. "To be selected you must show them they can walk the path just by the light you shine to clear the shadows from where they don't need to be."

" I think I understand but I don't feel I understand." I said taking a seat at the table.

As I sat down I saw all the villains "defeated" by past heros. Before my eyes they all changed into all the heros from my childhood.

"Sometimes to find themselves people need to have something to fight against when they only needed to believe in themselves." He said with a sad sigh. "The negative energy they create causes us to be corrupted and perverted. Luckily those that give off positive energy don't see us as anything but ourselves. We try to protect them but we are limited in only small changes."

"Like the butterfly effect?"I asked, becoming intrigued.

"Exactly that. If we used full power it would risk breaking the mind of those not accustomed to thinking eons into the future."

"The good news is that no one needs to anymore. We have created a spirit that can locate the negative energy and if not invert it they can at least balance it so people can find balance in life."

With a wave of his hand books appeared in front of everyone seated at the table, except for me. I was given a notebook and quill.

"Welcome to your first day of school. Let me introduce your teachers." With a smile he lifted one hand and the purest sweetest ringing of a bell was heard all across the land. With it peace and harmony spread and the stress of existing faded into happiness.

What if you are projecting? You are asking me to use my mental energy when I already gave you what you need.