Gentlemen! You can't take your clothes off in here, this is the Changing Room!

My 12-year-old self would've thought this was great news.

> people would do well to remember that every plant, every inch of soil, has its own straw sucking up what it needs before any water reaches the streams or rivers — and human populations.

I mean you can judge for yourself whether or not it makes any sense, but it sure does have the "not the onion" feel to it.

Since the beginning of time, man has yearned to destroy the forest.

Yeah, I had only a vague memory of how that disagreement went. I suppose I must've been left with the impression that when you take the long view of history, the military dude was largely (or at least partly) in the wrong there.

From what I remember, it being a long time since I read it, "being so reclusive held humanity back" seems like an over-simplification. Perhaps it did, at some point, but only after humanity was eventually ready to benefit from its secret knowledge which did take some time.

The rest seem entirely in keeping with the character of the book and in large part exemplary of black comedy. Your sense of humour may vary.